When you are considering working with someone on sexuality and intimacy, it’s important to choose the right practitioner for you. This is a person with whom you might share deep vulnerabilities. You might need them to hold difficult or intense emotions. Do they feel like a safe person you can trust?
You might be considering sessions that involve touch. Sexological bodywork, tantric massage and yoni massage can involve intimate touch and so it’s even more important to choose a reputable practitioner who is experienced, knowledgeable, and professional. Will your practitioner encourage you to identify your boundaries and will they stay within them?
And if you show yourself to this person, either emotionally or physically, will they bring unconditional acceptance and care?
Here are questions to ask about any sexuality professional:
- What are their qualifications and experience?
- Have they received formal training from a reputable school or program?
- Have they worked with clients similar to you, with similar problems or desires before?
- How do they apply their work to themselves?
- How do they define “being a professional”?
- Are they a member of a professional association?
- What continual professional development do they do?
- Do they have supervision?
- Do they operate under a code of ethics?
- What is their approach and boundaries?
- Can they explain the techniques and approaches they use and why they might help you?
- What boundaries do they have?
- Do they tailor their approach to fit you and the topics you want to work on?
- Do you feel you’ll be safe and respected in sessions?
- How will they understand and respect your boundaries?
- Who is in charge or what happens – them or you?
- If you feel you might be vulnerable in sessions, or perhaps experience difficult emotions such as guilt, shame, anger or grief, how would they support you with that?
- How do they manage their own emotions and arousal?
- What is their motivation for doing sexuality work?
- What drew them to this work?
- What’s important about this work for them?
Use these questions to find out more about your practitioner and then trust your instincts. If something feels off or uncomfortable, listen to your instincts and find another practitioner.
The most important thing to consider when choosing a sexuality professional is your safety, comfort, and wellbeing. Take the time to do your research, ask questions, and listen to your instincts to ensure that you find a practitioner who can provide a safe, transformative, and enriching experience.