Every woman's body
deserves to feel alive
Every woman's heart
deserves to open
Every woman's soul
deserves to be seen
“I work with women who want to reconnect to their body and sexuality, particularly after sexual or emotional trauma or difficult relationships with men.
I hold a safe, loving space for you to rediscover your body, desires and sexuality, entirely at your own pace, using coaching, embodiment and bodywork practices.
We can work in-person in London UK, or online” — Paul
“Sometimes the damage done by men needs to be undone with a man”
— Elizabeth (a client)
Are you healing from trauma or difficult relationships?
If you've suffered trauma, abuse, difficult relationships or poor sex, you're not alone:
- 1 in 20 children have been sexually abused
- 16% of women have experienced some type of sexual assault since the age of 16
- 8.1% of woman have suffered partner abuse in the last year
- Around 1 in 10 women suffer painful sex
(Sources: Crime Survey for England and Wales, British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, NSPCC)
Victims and survivors often experience these events as traumatic, with responses that can last for years. Even after therapy, you might find you still have:
- Triggers and fear responses
- A feeling of loss of control of your life
- Disconnection from your body
- Feelings of guilt, shame, anger or grief
- Little enjoyment of intimacy and sex
You can reclaim your body, yourself and your life...
In a safe and loving environment, we'll use powerful coaching, embodiment and bodywork practices to help you reclaim your body and reconnect to your power. Together, we'll design the journey uniquely for your needs and that might include:
- Learning to love and trust your body
- Knowing what you really want, asking for it and receiving it
- Communicating and holding your boundaries
- Being seen and validated for who you really are
- Developing self-intimacy and a deep enjoyment of sex
- Being in relation to men
- Awakening your sensuality and divine femininity
- Connecting your spirituality and your eroticism
What to expect in a session
Every session is a place of learning where you're in control of what to explore. We go entirely at your pace - in fact, nothing needs to happen if you don't want it to. And everything is welcome - any emotion, sensation, any request you'd like to make.
You choose the environment that keeps you safe and comfortable and you feel is right for you. We could be online-only, and with cameras off during any activities. Or we could be in-person just talking. And, if you decided you wanted to explore bodywork or intimate touch, that option is available. You only ever do what you are comfortable with at the level that's right for you - the choice is always yours.
In a session, we'll jointly choose or design an activity to support your learning and healing, and we'll adapt it until we find something you enthusiastically want to do. One client and I spent over 90 minutes designing an activity that lasted a couple of minutes. For some people, the healing is in finding something their body can genuinely say "yes" to and, with a severe trauma, even that could take many sessions.
In early sessions, we'll focus on embodiment, safety and consent. You’ll notice what your body wants and doesn't want. You'll improve your ability to ask for it, your ability to say "yes" and "no" to requests authentically, and your ability to feel and enjoy what you've asked for when you receive it.
With that key skill in place, you're free to explore where you'll learn most. Activities could include noticing sensations in your body, learning about movement and breath, exploring fantasies, emotions or different aspects of yourself, self-touch and pleasure, giving and receiving touch from another, or exploring your experience by using symbols and metaphors.
Sometimes it's the simplest activities that mean the most. One client hesitantly asked me if it was OK if I just held her. When I did, she burst into tears because she'd never felt she could ask for what she really wanted, and someone would give that to her. After that, we created more experiences where she felt her needs and desires mattered, she could ask for them, and she could have the caring attention and pleasure that she really wanted.
Through the activities, we find powerful inner resources you might not realise you have. We also often find resistance and difficult emotions like shame, anger, fear and grief – things we will listen to and honour; things that need to be held gently and helped to integrate back into yourself. Resources and resistance often affect many aspects of your life, meaning that a simple activity can generate profound, life-enhancing change.
You can find out more about sessions by reading my article Is bodywork right for you?
Testimonials
“Following a sexual assault and mistreatment in previous relationships, I went through life disconnected from myself and others. For 20 years, I kept silent about what had happened, feeling completely numb inside and very afraid of men.
Despite knowing I was safe, I was shaking with fear just having Paul in the room at our first session. Throughout the session, I felt in control, respected, and cherished. For the first time, all my emotions were met with love, patience, care, and compassion. Paul approached everything step-by-step with gentleness and respect, moving at my pace.
The bodywork has been crucial in bringing my body back to life. As Paul helped me chip away at the numbness, I began to relax more into the touch, trusting and allowing my body to feel again.
I'm amazed at how far I've come, considering I once thought I was too broken to be helped. The most significant change is that I'm starting to think and talk about what it would be like to be in a relationship with a man again. This is a monumental shift!
I would not hesitate to recommend Paul to any woman in need of help. He is a true professional, and his focus is completely on supporting your healing.”
—Kira
“I had severe trust issues with men due to previous trauma but the sessions I received from Paul were so loving and nurturing. He made me feel cherished, seen, attractive but, most importantly of all, safe.
This was the most touching element of the healing process for me: to be able to have the trust to simply surrender to another person's touch and know that the only intention they have is to help you heal, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Paul is incredibly sensitive, patient and loving and I believe he has the ability to help bring change to many people's lives for the better.
Following the sessions I felt exhausted, but in the days following so much lighter and now a number of months on I feel I have made huge progress and feel ready to embark on a new relationship after keeping myself closed down for so many years. I can never thank him enough for all his time and kindness.”
— Elizabeth
“Paul is an absolute must-see. He is so utterly trustworthy, brilliant and kind and I cannot recommend him enough.
I came to him feeling deadened inside and having lost myself. There was barely any sex in my relationship, or with myself, and my confidence was at an all-time low. I had lost my magnetism. I did not feel good about my body, especially my breasts, and I felt unattractive.
Paul helped me to connect safely and slowly with me and with my body. With his divine embodied clean coaching and his sex bod tools, he supported me to reclaim myself and my spirit. I got in touch with my frozen holding and trauma in my body and how I was afraid of opening up to my pleasure and to myself.
I now feel entirely different. I look in the mirror and admire and love my body. I love the shape of my breasts. I wear more sensual clothes. I reclaimed my bedroom as a boudoir. I started to woo myself and this helped my husband become more of a peacock and woo me too. My dreams of being creative, writing and painting, had also been buried, and, as I awakened, I am engaging in them too.
I had become so afraid that I was entirely blocked, and Paul guided me so gently that I could grow in incremental steps. It has been a miracle. If you are tempted, I could not recommend Paul enough: he is the real deal.”
— Kate
“Paul is a true professional. Two factors, above other wonderful skills, means he is someone I would go back to again and recommend to others with no hesitation. One, is Paul's ability to tailor the sessions to what is present in the moment and let it take its ramifications wherever it goes, discreetly facilitating the process so the path reveals itself to you. Second, is Paul's incredible ability to safely hold the space: what sometimes feels difficult to hold, with Paul is possible.”
— Eleanora
“I am so grateful for the experience. It felt like such a gift and I felt so honoured and revered as a goddess. Paul really held the masculine energy with clear intention and brought true purity of intention and energy to his work.
I have worked with other male practitioners in sexual / sensual energy work, and there has been a lot of confusion & attraction between us. After working with Paul, I feel like I truly understand how masculine energy can be held in a safe, pure way and with clear intention and professionalism. Thank you for this - I feel like I now have a model of how to do this work in the right way.
I also want to share that I continue to feel increased sensitivity in my yoni post-session!”
— Jacqueline
“I have been working with Paul for over a year and in that time I have grown into the woman that I knew I could be, but never seemed to be able to access.
I struggled with feeling deserving of love, wanting love but pushing it away. I had recently come out of a long term relationship where intimacy had died a long time ago and I felt not connected to my own sexuality. I also didn’t have very good boundaries, having sex with men when I didn’t really want to, and not enjoying it but going along with it anyway.
Paul holds an amazing space of unconditional love and acceptance which I had never experienced before with a man. Doing exercises that enabled me to practice boundaries and consent, I started setting boundaries in my own life and saying no to things I didn’t want including saying no to sex. In that space, I was able to explore my own femininity, start to feel like a sexual woman again and accept that I did deserve love.”
— Melanie
“Working with Paul really has changed my life for the better. After being physically and emotionally abused as a child by my father, I had severe trust issues with men and hadn't been feeling very intimate with my partner for years. I was afraid of being seen and touched by another man, worried I wouldn't feel safe.
When I first messaged Paul after weeks of building up the courage, I was scared and nervous. But instantly Paul reassured me and put me at ease, telling me we don't have to do anything I'm not ready for and we can go as slow as I needed.
What can I say - it was the best decision of my life contacting Paul. The most challenging part was being able to trust a total stranger, especially a man, but Paul instantly put me at ease and the more we talked, the more I trusted him.
This was definitely the ground-breaking moment in mine and my partner's relationship and it's only got better since. We will never go back to how we were just a few months ago. I feel much happier in myself and much more confident during life.”
—Louise
Experiences - in clients' own words
Some of my clients have been kind enough to write articles in their own words about their experiences of tantric and sexological bodywork sessions with me, and their journeys of healing.
“I reached out to Paul wanting to gain confidence in myself and my body. Being plus size, I've been very body conscious, and I also wanted to connect more deeply with my body.
From the moment I first contacted Paul, he was very kind and understanding. It was clear he knew what he was doing and how much experience he had. I felt safe to discuss anything and ask questions I thought would be embarrassing, but he didn't make me feel embarrassed at all.
I really appreciated that Paul took time to speak with me before the session. This helped my nerves massively, and going through how the session may unfold allowed me to prepare myself.
I loved how Paul customised the session to my needs. As it went on, I saw myself opening up and gaining confidence in asking for what I wanted. Paul made me feel like I could take control of the session and lead in the way that felt beneficial for me.
It was a life-changing experience, and I could not recommend Paul enough. I felt so good during and after the session that it puts a smile on my face when I see the change. I'm more confident with my body now, and I'm confident I'll be able to ask for what I need or want in the moment.
I don't think any amount of gratitude can explain how much this session helped me. I'll be coming back soon.”
— Amira
“Working with Paul has and continues to be transformative for me. He has a special energy and holds such a beautiful safe space.
I started with an intense distrust and fear of men, along with deep childhood trauma and sexual trauma. I was scared and unsure what was going to play out. I’ve been blown away by the dynamic that emerged between us, which has and continues to facilitate much healing. I found it hard to let go of the journey looking a specific way, yet Paul has always deferred to my intuition, empowering me, championing me, allowing me my own process.
All of me is welcome in session. Even when my fears and conditioning rose to challenge him, he held them gently, with understanding, compassion and honoured me in my process. I now open to myself in a way I’ve never done before and this continues to expand.
In Paul’s holding, parts of myself that have been hidden, squashed, even unknown, my feminine, have risen shining through. For months so much was happening, yet I didn’t fully understand the bigger picture of what was occurring. I see and feel now that he has been holding me safely and showing my masculine how to hold myself. I feel like he has been leading me back to myself.
All this, along with beautiful reflections and empowering me, has allowed my feminine to rise and show herself at ever deepening levels. I’m learning to trust myself, hold myself and am creating a deepening safety in myself. I can feel myself expanding after decades of contraction. Working with Paul is a real gift.”
— Emma
“I so appreciated the space to explore and experience myself from an internal perspective – this is something I have not been able to do on my own, and it has been very valuable. Paul held the space beautifully over our ten sessions: it was contained yet flexible.
I certainly felt the sense of the sessions being co-created; I occasionally felt some pressure about this which I noticed was from myself – Paul was patient, and clear that he had tools to offer and suggestions to make, but that these were just ideas. This was very helpful for me, as they became intriguing possibilities, without any expectation from him that there would be a particular course of action. This made for internal spaces that had a high degree of presence.
I have a tendency to be "thinky", so these sessions were ideal for experiencing myself in an entirely different way. I really enjoyed the briefing and debriefing too, as well as very much appreciating how Paul brought the sessions to a place of practical exploration.
I felt actively listened to, which helped me be present with and trust the process; I also felt that my experience was valid and worthy / requiring of my self-respect. I noticed – especially in our final session – the extent to which I felt I could be direct in responding to Paul's questions and suggestions for enquiry.
I didn’t know what to expect from these sessions, because I need to experience things in order to understand them; I am very grateful for the opportunity to discover more and to have worked with Paul in this way.”
— Bee
“I kept Paul's website open on my browser for the best part of 8 months, before I actually was able to build the courage and confidence to reach out. From the very first moment I reached out, Paul was extremely kind and understanding. He made me feel safe and comfortable, and I was able to without any hesitation, set my boundaries and share what I was most comfortable with doing.
To me it felt like a life changing experience, just with the first session alone. A crucial factor that gave me the urge to return was seeing and experiencing how Paul gave me the control and allowed me to lead the session at the pace that felt comfortable for me.
Paul's kind words always felt soothing – I remember describing the feeling as 'a healing pad to the soul'. He was able to bring a bold and brave side out of me, that even I did not know I had inside me. In comparison to when I first started, I feel miles better in myself. My confidence has increased significantly and this has allowed me to stand up for myself and set clear boundaries.”
— Safiya
“I had never enjoyed the sexual aspect of relationships due to self-consciousness about how I looked and deep-rooted shame about seeking and experiencing pleasure. I often felt pain or discomfort during sex. I am also autistic and the prospect of forming a meaningful connection with someone who understands the nuances of this seems daunting.
I surprised myself by how quickly I wished to remove my clothing and felt quite neutral about how my body looked. Paul always ensured the touch was directed by me and at my own pace. Though I initially struggled to verbalise things that I wanted and liked, I mostly overcame this due to Paul's reassurance and increasing feelings of safety.
Before, I felt like sex was something "done to" me by men, but in the session I felt in control and able to influence the narrative. I now know there is a world where my body can be seen positively and sex can be more than confusing and frustrating.
Paul was professional, kind and compassionate and he made what could have been a strange or daunting experience feel quite natural and easy.”
— Sophie
Who I work with
I work with a wide range of clients, including:
- Ages from 20s-70s (and I'm open to older clients)
- Neurodiverse clients, including autism and ADHD
- All body shapes and sizes (including scarring and mastectomies/breast reconstruction)
- Married, single, polyamorous
- Clients with intense shame, embarrassment or fear about their bodies or desires
- Couples
- Transgender people
- I'm open to working with disability
- People with strong religious beliefs (often in conflict with their desires and sexuality)
I've had clients who were concerned they were too old, too broken, too unattractive to do this kind of work; but it doesn't matter who you are or what's happened to you, it is never too late to change your life, enjoy your body and discover your beauty.
Who am I?
I'm Paul. I'm a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, trained in Somatic Trauma Therapy and the Wheel of Consent, with over eight years in Tantra. I've been doing this work for over five years — with some women for a single session, and others over months or years — and every one has taught me something new. I also supervise and train other sexuality professionals.
Would you like to find out more?
I know it can be a big step to make contact. It's completely normal to feel unsure or nervous. My role is to make the process easy and comfortable for you.
Usually we'll talk about any problems you want to overcome and what you'd like. And then we talk about what a first session might be like. Sessions are always tailored to suit you, so we can create a session together that feels right for you.
You can also ask me anything you like about me and how I work. It's important to know who you are working with if you are doing work around sexuality.
There's no obligation if you contact me - I'm happy to answer your questions and help you decide if working with me is a good fit for you. Then it's your decision - no pressure from me.
I'm looking forward to talking to you soon.
- Paul
A friendly chat on Zoom
Book a free, friendly chat on Zoom. I'll set aside an hour for us to talk about what you'd like and what kind of session might work for you.
Phone
Just give me a call on 07961 391 468. This is good for a quicker chat about what you'd like, or to book a session.
You can chat to me on WhatsApp. This is great for asking a few questions or booking a session.
Send me a message using my web form and I can answer your questions by email.
How long are sessions and what do they cost?
I offer a first friendly chat on zoom for an hour, for free. It's a chance for us to get to know each other and for you to decide if working together is a good fit.
My standard rate for sessions is £100/hour for online sessions (or equivalent in other currencies for my non-UK clients), and £120/hour for in-person sessions.
Online sessions are usually 60-90mins, although some clients prefer two hours if we are doing slower or deeper work. In-person sessions are usually 2 or sometimes 3 hours. We can work out what's right for you when we talk.